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Dick.

I AM A FUCKING DICK.

When I'm Bored...

All You Need To Know About Me
Name:Elen\'dae Ner\'sil
Nickname:El\'en
Birthday:November 2
Zodiac Sign:Scorpio
Current location:Boston, MA
Eye Color:Crimson Red
Hair Color and Length:Black and to my ass
Height:7\'4\"
Shoes You Wore Today:I didn\'t wear shoes today
Your Fear:Being alone
First Thought When You Wake Up:What is that thing biting my neck?
Best Physical Feature:My cock, duh
Who Is Your Bestest Friend:Elenion
When Is Your Bedtime:When I fucking feel like it
Pepsi or Coke:Wine please
McDonalds or Burger King:Not if my life depended on it
Single or Group Dates:Single
What Is The Last Song You Sang:Sovereign, End of the Line
Do You Drink:Yes
Ever Been Drunk:All the damn time
Do You Smoke:Only when I\'m stressed
What Color Underwear Do You Have On:Black and red
Have You Ever Been In Love:Four times
Do You Want To Get Married:I am married
Do You Like Thunderstorms:Hell yes
How Many CD’s Do you Own:Not enough
How Many DvD’s Do You Own:Too many to count
How Many Tattoo’s Do You Have:Four
How Many Piercings Do You Have: About seven or so
Favorites
Favorite Shoes:Chucks
Favorite Radio Station:I don\'t listen to the radio much
Favorite Drink:Thranduil\'s Second Ager Wine
Favorite Car:Camarro
Favorite Song:Noldolante
Favorite Movie:300
Favorite Color:Red
Favorite Meal:Steak and potatoes
In a Guy/Girl or Man/Woman I Like…
Favorite Eye Color:Blue
Favorite Hair Color:Black
Short Hair or Long Hair:Long hair please
Height:6 Feet or so
Body Type:Slender
Tattoos:Usually
Piercings:Please
Right Now
Right Now, What Is Todays Date:August 15, 2008
Right Now, What Time Is It:8:41
Right Now, Who Are You Thinking Of:Kana
Right Now, What Are You Listening To: Sovereign, Kingdom of Thorns
Right Now, Do You Love Some One:Yes
Right Now, Does Someone Love You:Yes
Right Now, Is It Raining:No
Right Now, Are You Happy:Yes
Tell us YOUR answers to this survey! Click HERE!
Created by shadow_in_the_dark, taken 413 times.
Created at Kwiz.biz - Kwizzes, Polls and Surveys!

So... Apparently, Livejournal is on a strike because various people involved on the staff don't like gay people, lesbians, depression, slash, elves or faeries. What the fuck is up with that shit? Do you people have any idea how many of your noble followers you're kicking out by disbanning all of that crap? Obviously not. If this means that I can't say how hard I fucked Maglor last night or how depressed my nephew is from being away from his addiction, you all can suck my cock. I don't even know why I'm ranting about some of this stuff. Most of this doesn't even touch me, I'm too far up on the food chain to care about it and Feanor doesn't even have a livejournal. Even though it would be really funny to see him write down all of his feelings so the world could see them. Does Feanor really even have feelings? Sometimes I wonder.

Not much has happened around here though, Anvere's having problems with Faeli and Faeli is disliking the fact that Anvere is a prostitute, which is real odd considering that's one of the things Faeli said always made him hard. Though, he only ever admitted it in his cups. Why can't people just say what they mean? I don't fucking care who I hurt when I say something, I just know that when I do say something, it's not a lie or a sugar-coated answer. It's true. It's real. People are weird.

In other news, Arvalin got the scare of his life when he decided to go with us back in time and fix the shit that we made mistakes on. Feanor apparently is a Silmaril-obsessed cock-monger who would rather throw Arvalin out a window than fuck him. Reminds me of the old Feanor, the one who attacked Alqualonde and burned it to the ground and then got promptly killed by a balrog afterward. So, now, no matter what, everything seems to be perfect, even though it isn't. Feanor's still a cock. Arvalin's still a pussy. I dunno. The idea of Arvalin Amrasion, badass, cracking Feanor over the head with a sword sounds really hot. That might just be me though, I'm into all that stuff.

Arasilme said he'd deal with it.

Arasilme is a knight that no one should ever have to deal with for more than a couple hours at a time. Bound by duty and honor and all that crap, he has a thing for Feanor and we all fucking know it, except Arvalin, because Arvalin sees things in rainbow colours. The kid needs to get his head back on his shoulders straight or else Feanor's gonna get bored. Feanor likes boys. Feanor likes girls. Feanor likes boys to be boys and girls to be girls. Arvalin's too feminine for Feanor to stick around as long as he has. Somebody needs to click him on into soldier mode and leave him there.

There's more news... but I have to piss so gimme a second and I'll be back.

Dirt Bag.

I have to admit. I've been feeling kind of dirt-bag-ish lately, especially when I look at old pictures. I've also been getting high a lot more lately. I need to get out of the house, publish a new album or go out on the town or go on vacation or something. I don't have a freaking clue what's wrong with me. I just feel real worthless. I need a hug and I need a hug from the right people. I think I'm going mad. Really. I'm not kidding this time. I think I'm going mad. I need to get off of the LSD and the Opium. But... if I do... everything will suck even more than it already does. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT. I thought... I thought... I figured...

I'm a retard.

I'm also high.

Tripping.

Screwed.

Rock and a hard place and I don't mean the front of my pants.

Today is Friday.

Friday is today.

My vocal functions are lacking today and I need a new brain to mouth filter put in.

Installation. That's a funny word.

I'm smoking right now.

I should really change the password to my PC, but if I do... I'll just forget about it tomorrow.

If I say what I mean, I could piss some people off.

I wonder if Ecthelion ever had this problem.

Probably not.

Why is Ecthelion on my mind...?

Fuck, he was real hot.

The colour of my walls is blue.

I'd really like to fuck him.

Fuck is a good word.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd. There goes my mind. Out the window on a magic carpet................................ along with my life.

<((>.>))> <~~~~~~ Look, it's an elf.

Good-bye mind.

Heeeeeeelllooooo INSANITY!!!

Computer...

I have a new computer. I bought a new one because my other one is infested with spyware and Trojan Horses and I don't mean the kind that eat apples and sugar cubes all day long. I mean the kind that destroy your hard drive and cause your computer to burp up interesting codes when you're trying to surf the net. Unfortunately, that's not the kind of processor I need to do the job and record the bills, thanks. I blame Elenion. He seems to think that accessing or rather, trying to access my computer is a game that should be played constantly, even when he's told not to.

So... Because my other computer has been reduced to a mechanical gurgling monster being eaten from the inside out from all the crap Elenion downloads, I bought a new one. It's a Toshiba and cost me over three-thousand dollars. It has satellite technology and the newest version of Windows and a duel processor and various other things that make it better than my previous computer and the best part about this computer versus my last one... IT'S A LAPTOP. I've never bought a laptop before. Mostly because I've never had a reason to spend so much money or a reason to purchase a laptop. I can take this one to work (when I go) or around the house or in the car or at a restaurant or something.

Elenion has been trying to get onto it for the better part of a week now. He keeps stealing it and locking himself into the bathroom, as though that'll help him figure everything out. He's never going to get onto it. I change the password every other day because I don't want anyone to get onto it. Once he figures that out... He still won't be able to get onto it. He should be talking or hanging out with Indelion or something, anything besides trying to hack into my new computer. The boy needs a hobby.

I wonder what's going to happen to him once we leave Ennor and move back to Valinor and to Tirion. He needs to move out of my house and get his own and pay more attention to Indelion. He relies too much on me and my ability to get him out of trouble. He needs to rely on himself and his own abilities. Perhaps this training with Arasilmë'll help with that. Arasilmë has the innate ability to make you wish you were dead and rotting somewhere on the side of the road. I suppose that's what happens when you spend the majority of your life in the service of Fëanor. I think it'll get really interesting when Fëanor figures out that Arasilmë's sleeping with Fingolfin, you know, that brother he has and hates.

This'll get interesting, I think.

Twisted Moon

So, I wrote another song. I was not loopy or high when I wrote this, though it might sound like I was. My lyrics make no sense and they are like that for a reason. Though, my cousins and my friends are awesome because they can figure out shit and see through my crazy. W00t. So, here it is.

Spin the sky
Fate plays her game
I can't see
The world's gone black
Smoke's on the rise
The Gate's fallen in and
Death's dark beast
Comes for me...

Can you remember
The secret I said
All those years behind
I wanted your love
You gave me your lies
I love you
I loathe you
I hate you
Betrayer
My traitor

Feel my pain
Claw my eyes
Scarlet moon
Look what you've done
My life's a mess
You alone I trust
You alone I want
Why do you leave
My golden star
Why do you leave?

Can you tell it to me now?
When nothing's here to stop
My bleeding heart
Pull out all the stops
Rip out my mind
Tear away my honor
Kill me inside out

Take it a part
You are mine
Bleed for me
You always loved me
Always...
Loved...
Me...

Shout your hatred
I'll whisper mine
I put my TRUST in you

Undo me
My golden star
Destroy me
Song of my heart!
You are the reason I'm me
The reason I love
The reason I hate
Make my cry
Make me fall...

Take it all...

I put my TRUST in YOU
Though you wish it not
Find your way in MINE
While the world
Crumbles and falls

Older than the sky
Inside this wall
I make it mine
Will you stay...
Here?

My immortal heart...
Three stars and a flower
Pink and Blue
Six lifetimes ago..

I gave my heart to you...
Do this better...
Better than I.
Please...

My mate does this so much better than me...

Blah.

Fallen Up-Side Down

So, I decided to write a song and I don't write songs all that much or all that often, because I'm not real good at it. Elenion writes the songs along with Indelion and I just sing them because my voice is awesome and I sound sexy. But, I did actually write a song. Considering certain situations and people have been arriving and appearing lately from the depths of the Halls of Mandos, I figured I'd find some inspiration somewhere. This is really more of a tribute or a lament for a friend of mine who is long dead. In fact, this is a tribute to a couple of friends of mine who are long dead.

So, here it is. It's called "Fallen Up-Side-Down", which, considering the lyrics, really makes no sense at all ever. If you weren't there, you really won't understand it and it'll just sound like a love song to most of you. That's fine. I understand that most of my fans really won't get it. However, if you can pick it out and figure out what it actually means, comment on my journal and I think of something awesome to do for you.

So, here it is, I mean it this time.

The sky is burning
My world is turning
And everything I see
Is false

I’m falling down upon
The ground
Though all I seem to see
Is you standing there
Laughing at me
My brother
My lover
My life
My savior

Life is rolling forward
Oh, torture
Mechanical torture
Traitor
Betrayer
Can’t you hear me?
Can’t you see me?
Standing here beside you?
I’m not leaving
Though destiny paints
My fate clear

I love you
I hate you
I breathe you
I need you
You want me to die
I want you to live
Escape this Hell and
Find your way

Golden sapphires and ivory lace
She’ll never take you
Never want you
Never need you
Say farewell
My sun
My star
And return to me

Fallen star
Fallen Night
Ill-gotten you are
Though you still fight
For power
For lust
For what you are not

Life is rolling forward
Oh, torture
Mechanical torture
Traitor
Betrayer
Can’t you hear me?
Can’t you see me?
Standing here beside you?
I’m not leaving
Though destiny paints
My fate clear

I love you
I hate you
I breathe you
I need you
You want me to die
I want you to live
Escape this Hell and
Find your way

I love you
I hate you
I breathe you
I need you

I need you…


Any guesses ladies and gentlemen?

Bored...

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD YOUR HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? My house was built for me actually, by my grandfather and his lot of followers and some junk. But, Tirion palace is one massively awesome house. I also have another house that I built in Boston Massachusetts in the Victorian Era, everybody keeps trying their damnedest to destroy it. It really kind of blows.

2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? My leather pants, because holy shit does my ass look phenomenal in them.

3. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE ONE YOU LOVE OR TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? I love everything there is to love about Kana. His face, his eyes, his hair, his everything. There really isn't one thing I love more than the other, though he's got a great ass.

4. WHAT'S THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT? My own, because I'm an arrogant, egotistical son of a bitch.

5. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? In my bed after a night of great sex, listening to Kana sing in the shower, especially when he thinks I'm not listening. He's got a great voice, oh Valar... He could make me release by just talking. I think I have a throat fetish, I blame Elenion.

6. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? Anywhere my father is. He sucks.

7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? You know where.

8. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? Both. Can't be one without the other.

9. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING? Morning? What's that?

10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? I don't really watch TV, though Elenion watches Spongebob, so I guess it's that. I dunno.

11. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? The fridge, because it won't break when I bang Kana long and hard against it.

12. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY? Oh boy, I wrote a whole post about this one. The first time I ever met Kana. I gave him half of my frosted sugar cookie and my heart for all of eternity.

13. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? Anything that makes Feanor frustrated or angry. I find that to be hilarious!

14. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? Stupidity and if someone were to threaten Kana.

15. FAVORITE RESTAURANT/CAFE/EATERY? The little Café down the road, Peace of Mind, I think it's called.

16. SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE? When I thought Galadhen would leave me again, when I thought he would walk out on me after I found him working for that stupid artist. I was so afraid to be alone, I'm still afraid to be alone.

17. IF THERE WAS A MOVIE MADE ABOUT YOU, WHAT CURRENT/FORMER HOLLYWOOD STAR WOULD PLAY YOU? Oh Manwe, nobody could really do me justice. Johnny Depp, maybe, but that would be really pushing it.

18. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? I don't believe, I know. The Vala of Death is an annoying son of a bitch.

19. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S MOVIE? Legend

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Autumn

21. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Dude, I HAVE a super power. I can throw fireballs and kill shit and I have a balrog whip. Though, I'd really like to be able to see things in advance sometimes.

22. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? I do, actually. I have the words "Immortal Star" across my back in Quenya.

23. DO YOU CRY OFTEN? Only when something really hurts me...

24. THE SONG YOU WISHED YOU HAD WRITTEN? Noldolantë. It's the most beautiful piece of music ever written in the entire world. I stole it. I manipulated it. I remixed it. But, I didn't write it.

25. DO YOU PREFER CATS OR DOGS? Horses.

26. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE? Cleaning out the Garage. I have stuff from the dark ages in my garage.

27. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? Leather, lights, clothes, toys, amp-systems, horse tack.

30. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY? Valentine's Day.

31. USE ONLY ONE WORD (and an adjective) TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF. SEXY.

New Song...

So, I wrote another song today. My third one since Sovereign disbanded and I joined my nephew's Paradox. I don't think it's that good, really. I just... Meh.

I Wish

By: Elen’dae Ner’sil

Oh, I wish…
I wish… I wish…
I could tell a story unlike any other told
And I wish…
I could show you what I’ve seen
The fall of light eternal
And the first sunrise…

Though seeing is believing
This magic isn’t real
The world is falling forward
But this story isn’t done

Fallen eyes
And fallen dreams
I can’t remember
Grey as the sky
On a rainy winter day
Make me wish…

I wish, I wish…
I wish I could fly.
I wish, I wish
I could fall away
I could see the light…
Eternal and bright…

At world’s end…
I know this will conquer me…
This curse of darkness
My golden star…

You’ll never hear the song I’ve sung
You’ll never know the battles that I’ve lost
And that I’ve won
You’ll never kiss my lips the night before I die

I wish, I wish…
I wish I could fly.

I wish… I could see
I wish… I could die

And in the war-torn walls
Of my forbidden palace
My window to the world
I can see the moon

I can see the end
Of the forgotten faerie tale
This song is missing lyrics
And these tears are blood
Like red
Like four pointed knives
Like the end

I wish, I wish…
I wish I could fly…

I wish, I wish…
I wish I could die…

May. 2nd, 2007

So, I was up really late a couple of nights ago thinking about some things I haven't in quite a while. My childhood was really the most prominent thing on my mind, though. I haven't thought about my childhood in a rather long time either, as it's not a very happy one. At least, not really. I have a few fond memories from it, one in particular that continues to haunt my mind.

As everybody knows, I'm in love with my cousin, Maglor. It's not anything that I've kept secret, really, I made it rather clear to those who were around me. I love him. I've loved him since the moment he walked into my life. The first time I ever met or saw Maglor, I think I was about four or five, not very old at all. This was back before Fëanor started taking council with Morgoth and, you know, cared about his children and his family. I miss those days. However, just because he wasn't seduced by Morgoth, didn't mean he loved the rest of his family. Valar, Fëanor's always hated my father. But, I hate my father, so I guess it doesn't really matter. Anyways, my step mother Eärwen had just made some sugar cookies earlier that afternoon and after they had cooled and been decorated, she gave one to me and my brother Finrod.

It had a red flower on it with a blue center and I took it out into the courtyard of Tirion palace, we were all there for some reason I can't remember. Fingon was about ten and Maedhros was maybe eleven or twelve. I swear those two always hung around each other, so the fact that they later became lovers doesn't surprise me at all. I bet Fingon was just waiting for him to grow up so he could pounce him and tell him how he really felt. They were adorable, still are actually. In fact, I was there...somewhere, when Fingon finally told Maedhros how he felt about him. It was behind a couple of trees somewhere out in the courtyard.

I knew Maedhros had a brother and I knew who he was, I had just never met him before until this point. So, I took my cookie and sat down near the pond, next to this little dark-headed elfling. I was known to be rather friendly as a child, and I did have a lot of friends because of this. So sitting down next to random elves, my sister, Alatariel, tells me, was a normal thing. This particular dark-headed elf turned out to be Maglor and I swear the moment I saw him there was no one else in the world I wanted more. I wanted to be his friend, I wanted to hang around him, I wanted to spend my every-waking moment with him. If a four year old can fall in love, I think I did then.

I bit my bottom lip and broke my cookie in half and handed one side to him, introducing myself as "Elvelón". He said his name was Kanafinwë Makalaurë and that he was the second son of Fëanor. I have been in love with Kana ever since then. And during the time in which I was the courtesan of Feanor, Kana and I kissed behind a barn, a long deep kiss. I love my Kana. I love him like I will never love another. I just hope he knows it...

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elendaefinarfin
Elen'dae Finarfinion Ner'sil
The Chronicles of Tirion

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